This one is short but sweet ... in a dirty sort of way. Parental advisory.
I was standing at the bus stop, and off to my right this guy (pretty clearly hammered) was just ranting aloud to no one in particular. I wasn't paying much attention until he said this:
"I tell you what I'm gonna do!"
To which I thought, well, this should be interesting. I expected the next sentence could go any number of ways. Here are some examples:
1. "I'm gonna deal with my rage by shouting incoherently!"
2. "I'm gonna get myself arrested!"
3. "I'm gonna not remember any of this tomorrow!"
Yes, all viable options. But, drunken free will being what it is, he went with this:
"I'm gonna eat me some good, old-fashioned, down-home pussy!"
He could have ended that sentence with about a billion other words that would have been less offensive but certainly not as funny. And I guarantee you none of them would have required me to lean against the bus shelter while I shook uncontrollably with laughter.
Well played, sir. Well played. You managed to catch me off guard. I thought for sure you were going to say "ribs."
5 comments:
So I'm not going to comment directly on this one...
Only to say that there were tears when I read this one.
To this, I will leave you with the best line of the year. This past Friday I was in lovely downtown Hopkins enjoying the company of my buds Mark & Quinn. While sitting at the bar eating our over-priced Totino's pizza, we overheard a drunken squabble between a girl and her boyfriend. They were drunken wrestling when she exclaimed "Ohhh, you bastard, you're going to bust my implant".
:)
C-Man
This kind of stuff is why I LOVE riding the bus!
Pearl
You should know I was doing a "reading" of your blog last night for Linnea, Holly, and Ally. Linnea was crocheting, too. It was quite the evening.
Classic! Made my day. Love the Blog!!!
Post a Comment