It's been quite a while since I had an eventful bus ride. But the other morning, about twenty minutes into my trip, a man hopped on board and immediately began talking about Jesus. I'm not sure if only crazy people talk about the Lord in public, or if we automatically brand someone as crazy simply BECAUSE they talk about the Lord in public. It's probably a mix of both. In any case, I think it's great if you have a personal relationship with Jesus, but shouting about it typically makes everyone else uncomfortable.
Anyway, the driver had allowed this man to ride without paying, which was evidently a cause for great (and vocal) celebration. At the next stop, a middle-aged woman who looked like she had lived pretty damn hard stepped on. After listening to the man's high praise for his divine Metro Transit intervention, she said that she thought it was great to be thankful, and that she woke up every day with gratitude to Jesus.
This, I thought, was a very nice comment, and I'll admit I started feeling a little warm and fuzzy. Then the following exchange began.
MAN: "Yep, the Lord has helped me through some tough times. Tough times."
WOMAN: "I hear you."
MAN: "I mean really tough times."
WOMAN: "Oh, I know about tough times."
ME: (Oh my God, they're going to try to one-up each other. Thank you, Jesus!)
MAN: "Yeah, I been through a lot."
WOMAN: "I have, too."
MAN: "Lost a lot of people."
WOMAN: "Me, too."
MAN: "I mean, I been to prison."
WOMAN: "I been to prison, too."
At this point, I feel like the woman saw where this was going and decided the gloves were off.
WOMAN: "I even been a prostitute!"
Complete silence on the bus for about ten long seconds.
WOMAN: (yelling to all passengers) "YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! I DON'T CARE WHO HEARS IT!"
K.O., ma'am! Can I get an amen?