Monday, November 16, 2009

Sole Train

No word today, just a topic.

So I'm having a bit of an obsession right now with Golden Grahams.  The cereal, not some funky new street drug.  I can't seem to eat enough of them, and I put away about three bowls a day over the weekend.  I do this pretty often with food, just get on a kick and consume something constantly until that undefinable moment when my tastes swing from "Hell, yes!" to "Never again."

The worst time was when I got a quesadilla maker for Christmas. For about four months, that was all I ate every night after work.  Of course I haven't even been able to look at the thing since, but it was fun while it lasted.  Oh, quesadilla maker, don't feel sad.  It's not you, it's me.

I wonder if I'm able to get in these habits simply because I live alone. If I'd felt I needed to justify my dietary patterns to anyone, I might have made an effort to include some variety, or at least felt a twinge of shame at the monotony.  As it is, there's no one to judge me for anything I happen to do.  Eat cookies for supper?  So what.  Fry an egg at 2 a.m.?  Try to stop me. Make brownies and cut out the very middle piece?  Suck it, I'll do what I want.

I once had this conversation with my sister, who also lives alone:
Sister: "Would you judge me if I told you I made a cake yesterday and it's almost gone already?"
Me: "No."
Sister: "How about if I never even put the slices on plates and instead just ate it right out of the pan?"
Me:  "Of course not."
Sister: "What if told you I just left the pan by the side of my bed with a fork in it?"

I say, your house, your rules.  And it doesn't just apply to food.  Does anyone ever close their bathroom door when they live alone?  Or get dressed immediately after a shower?  Or not have the TV, radio, and computer on while talking on the phone? .... they do?  Well, as Bobby Brown so eloquently put it, that's my prerogative.  If I want to keep the thermostat at 75 or stay up till 4 a.m. watching old movies, who's going to complain?  That's the beauty of independence.

I have a sneaking suspicion that my friends with kids secretly hate me for this.  Since I have yet to find that special someone to start a brood with, I have the luxuries of sleeping till noon on Saturdays, discretionary income, and the freedom that comes with virtually no major responsibilities.  Does that make me spoiled or selfish?  Perhaps if I'd turned down several serious marriage offers in favor of carefree living. In reality, my lifestyle isn't decadent or somehow less valuable because I'm single ... it's just different.  I'm working with what I have at the moment, and I'm good with that.

On the downside, you have to learn to keep yourself pretty entertained.  This might have been a problem for me before I lived in Japan for a year -- not so anymore. With almost no one to talk to or anything in English to read, I was forced to be creative.  When I wasn't killing cockroaches or avoiding my topless old lady neighbor, I spent my evenings trying to decipher crazy gameshows on TV and attempting to bake banana bread in my rice cooker. When that failed to amuse, I once resorted to choreographing a routine to the theme song from "Shaft." 

I soon decided that the equation for a tolerable single existence is this:  happiness = the amount of time spent dancing in your living room ... in your underwear.

I honestly don't remember the last time I was bored.  I can't stand hearing someone whining about not having anything to do, because there's always something to do.  What they're really saying is, "There's nothing I want to do."  Did I want to learn the katakana alphabet, or how to whistle the Himi High School song, or every single line in "The Naked Gun," or all the lyrics after "He's a bad mother --shut your mouth?"  No.  But I did it, and now I own it.  Forever.
  
Sometimes, you gotta make do with what you have.  You gotta find that happy place to escape to in your own head.  You gotta shake what your momma gave you. And you gotta do it to music, alone, wearing as little as possible. Preferably eating a bowl of Golden Grahams.

7 comments:

The Warden Family said...

OK. I've decided that I am going to comment on each and every one of your posts to show my appreciation for your new comitment to bloging, and thus providing a new source of entertainment for me that I look forward to. The pressure to come up with witty comments that flow well with your writing is daunting to me. So, from now on I'm just going to write a commentary of what goes on in my head while I read your posts.

1) I love Golden Grahams too.
2) If I didn't have a husband and toddler to feed I would most definitely eat cereal and toast for every supper. (I do it whenever John is away)
3) I have always marveled at your ability to sleep in until noon. I can remember calling on Sat mornings to see if you wanted to "play" and your parents telling me you were still in bed!
4) I laughed out loud at the thought of you choreographing a dance to the Shaft theme song.

Liz said...

Torty, you are amazing. Reading your blogs I can hear you telling the stories, not many people can write like that. And, I have been eating a lot of cereal and toast myself. Erick and I don't share many meals unless we go out for dinner... he's picky and eats meat; I'm picky and don't... So, we just eat what we feel like. And, since I'm not working and don't have any responsibilities whatsoever right now I'm sleeping in almost every day... I am usually up by 10 so I can watch "say yes to the dress" because I'm a dork. Then, I watch Jeopardy and around noon try to do something productive.. like check facebook and do a bit of yoga. Life is good and some people are shocked that I haven't gotten bored yet, even after a month of this. But, there are no signs of boredom at all. I love it. Miss you!

Nate said...

Choreographed dance to shaft?! That's epic! Also on eating cereal everyday, every meal aint no shame in that game at all. Used to do that and still eat a whole different meal. Dance on!

gfosheim said...

I'm with Jennie - your posts always elicit a laugh (coincidence that elicit and illicit are homonyms?!?!) and thereby deserve response.

1) A bagel with crunchy peanut butter, sliced bananas, honey, and Golden Grahams was my collegiate pre-race breakfast. Alas, a banana allergy has emerged and taken this delicacy away.

2) Too many suppers have been a scramble to Sam's Club for a carrot cake - which rarely makes it beyond 2 days - and never goes on a plate

3) I went an entire year without heat or AC (in Georgia) just because I lived alone and could do whatever I damned well pleased. You're right about how good it feels to snub your nose at so called "appropriate behavior"

Pearl said...

Do you have any idea what I'd pay to see you perform those moves? (to Shaft).

:-)

As for the quesadillas, I once did that with oatmeal...

Pearl

Allison said...

Ask Jen about the quesadilla making incident of 2009 at our house.

Courtney said...

Wow, I've learned a lot about you all! Sorry to say, I will not be performing my "Shaft" routine anytime soon, and no amount of hard liquor and cajoling can change my mind. You kind of had to be there.