Still Day 1: It's Neverending, Remember?

Following my homicide-related discussion with mustachioed (and nervous) Steve in the lounge car, I returned to my seat. This is what followed:

7:45 p.m.  The mountains of Glacier Park are visible in the distance. Finally, spectacular scenery!

8:00 p.m.  Total darkness. Mountains, you're such a tease.

9:00 p.m.  I reluctantly settle in for another attempt at sleep. No such luck. Thus, I am awake for ...

2:00 a.m.  We switch locomotives in Spokane. The front part of the train continues to Seattle, including the dining car (and, I'm guessing, the apparition that is Megan) while the rear cars get hitched anew and go south to Portland. Of course, nobody actually tells us this is what's happening, since no general announcements are made after 10 p.m. Suddenly the lights and ventilation system shut down, but the heat stays on, and we sit there for an hour. My car is sweltering and filled with several professional-grade snorers. Sally Chainsaw is across from me. I consider smothering her but don't want to give up my pillow.

3:00 a.m.  Moving again. Have discovered that passing other trains in the night is terrifying.

5:00 a.m.  As we prepare to make a stop, I hear this rather personal query come over the PA system, "Jeff, do you have three for Bingen and any disabilities?"

5:15 a.m.  The lady in front of me says, "It sure feels like we've been on this train longer than 24 hours." Amen.

6:00 a.m.  Have I mentioned that snoring champ Sally Chainsaw has her 3-year-old son with her? His name is Tripp (I know this because she scolds him about 500 times). He's cute as a button and has red hair, but I grow to believe this is because he's the devil. 

7:30 a.m.  We begin winding along a beautiful river at sunrise, featuring high bluffs studded with pines, a huge snow-capped mountain, logging operations, fishermen, and orchards. It's almost enough to distract me from the moment when Tripp whacks his mother really hard in the back, and in response, she smacks him and says, "Hurts, doesn't it." Awesome.

8:00 a.m.  I make a final visit to what are now fully disgusting bathrooms. This particular crew does not particularly pride itself on maintenance. (Some trains and staff are better than others). The one I choose actually puts the "pubic" in public restroom. Nothing like damp toilet paper to start your day.

9:00 a.m.  I finally start to believe that I may someday get off the 27 Empire Builder. I'd almost forgotten about the rest of my vacation.

10:20 a.m.  I arrive in Portland!